Uh oh, I’m not as like-able as I thought!

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Uh oh, someone doesn’t like me!

The unthinkable has happened!

Are you sitting down?

Someone doesn’t like me!!!

I know! I’m as shocked as you are.

How could this happen?

If you knew me (as some of you do), you’d know that I am a pretty likable guy.

Sure that sounds cocky, but it’s true.

I am friendly and outgoing.

You have a story to tell?  I am always interested in what people have to say.

I make sure that I make eye contact with people when I talk to them.

Are you going through something?  I honestly do care/sympathize/empathize with most people I meet.

I ask questions and am generally a pretty good listener (though my wife may disagree).

I have always made and kept friends fairly easily.

That is until recently.

Let’s not get into the specifics but here is the low down:

When I enter a room, on a good day, it is like I am not even there.

On a bad day, I’m met with a glare.

I’ve seen through the side of my eye this person making faces in my general direction.

I’ve heard from other people that this person has not a nice thing to say about me.

What has been my crime?

Did I call them names? Nope.

Did I talk about them behind their back? Nope.

Did we get into a major disagreement that ended in name calling? Nope.

In fact , we had barely interacted at all before they decided to shun me.

So what was it? What has caused this tension between us?

There was a time in my life when that would have been the most important question on my mind.

I would lose sleep over it, do everything I could to rectify it. I would make attempts to talk to them and to resolve it.

Now the question as to why is not at all important to me.

A few years ago I came to a realization after confronting someone with whom I was in a similar situation.

I tried to make peace with this person. I tried to resolve the issue.

I made every attempt to understand why this person was upset with me.

At the end of the process nothing was resolved.

I didn’t change their mind, in fact I’m sure I probably made it worse.

Then it hit me.

This wasn’t my problem.

I had not done anything to this person that would warrant such a strong and visceral dislike. There was nothing that I could do that would change this persons opinion of me.

This was their problem.

Allowing their feelings towards me to upset me was to allow them to have some power over me.

It is okay for someone not to like me!

There is a lot of freedom in that.

They can feel any way they want about me. At the end of the day the only person that has to like me is me.

So when I walk into that room and I’m met with a glare or am shunned, I say good day to you.

You don’t like me?

I’m okay with that, but guess what?

I don’t have to like you either.

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