How to piss off your journeyman!

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Your journeyman is a jerk, aren’t they?

They treat you like dirt, ask you to do things you don’t want to, expect you to know things you don’t, and generally seem to be put on earth to make sure your life is a living hell.  If only there was a way to get back at them.  A way to bring them to the edge, stress them out, cause them to blow a gasket.

Follow these few tips and you are guaranteed to ruin the day of any journeyman.

Always have access to your phone.

There is nothing your journeyman hates more than seeing people using work time to check on their social media.  Facebook, instagram, snapchat and texting are sure to get under their skin faster than a tweet goes round the world.

For added annoyance make sure you have your notification volume set to maximum (you wouldn’t want to miss a text on a noisy work site would you?)

The creme de la creme?  Asking them to hold on a sec when they are asking you to do something.  Their time is valuable but their request can wait, your buddy just sent you an awesome meme of a baby goat riding a bike.

Talk a lot.

What should you talk about?  Mainly how awesome you are.

If they are telling you a story make sure you interrupt their story with a better one (you know you have one about some night you and your buddies got shit faced and shaved that cat).

Never listen to what they are saying.  Make sure you are trying to figure out the next awesome thing to come out of your mouth.

Is there a moment of silence?  What’s wrong with you? Fill it with your voice!!!

Act like you know everything.

When your journeyman wants to show you something or wants to tell you something there is only one response:

Always say I KNOW.

There is no room for humility here.  It is their job to teach you and show you things.

Take that power away from them by claiming to already know more in your 1 year in the trade than they could possibly know in their 20+ years.

Are they trying to show you how to do something?  Suggest a better way.  Sure it’s been done this way for years for a reason but I am sure you probably know a better way.  You did get 90% once on a test.  That means you’re super smart.

Use everyone’s tools but your own.

Why should you have to get your tools all scuffed up.  Leave them at home!  There are tons of other peoples tools lying around.

There is a debate as to what is more annoying; constantly asking to borrow some tools or not asking at all.  I say mix it up a bit and keep them guessing.

The most important thing is this:

If you do use someone else’s tools make sure you DO NOT put them back where you found them.  Not being able to find their tools when they need them will drive them to the looney bin.

Bonus tip:  When working with step ladders make sure you leave tools on top and when you’re done just walk away.  The impending drop of tools on the head is worth it.

Don’t bring a lunch.

This step is almost a guarantee to see them lose their mind and it works on so many levels.

It’s almost a given that you will have to go get something for breaks and lunch.  Because you only have 15 minutes for coffee and a half hour for lunch, it is almost a given you will be late coming back from break.

You will also have to ask to use the truck or van to get it.  See what I mean?  Double whammy. They need the truck/ van for tools and materials but you’re gonna be late bringing it back.  Boo yeah!

Stand around.

Once you have finished a task, don’t go looking for your journeyman to find out what’s next.

Just stand there.  Better yet, make sure you are leaning on something.

OHHHH Wait!!!!  I got something that is even better; Stand there leaning against a wall while texting ( At this point I am taking a bow).

Now it’s your turn.

What are some things you would like to add to the list?  Things that you have seen or tested out in the field that drive your boss nuts?

It is possible that these tips may get you booted off a job, fired and/or blacklisted, but maybe trades wasn’t your thing in the first place?

I hear that new Starbucks on the corner is hiring.

I gotta go.  Today is my first day on the grill at Wendys and I don’t want to be late.

Stay classy Academy!

Ps.  Make sure that you read this post with a sarcastic tone in your head.  Also make sure you share this by hitting the share button below.  Remember the job you save may be your own.

Make sure you share this post by hitting the share buttons below.

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Until next time, stay classy Academy![/fusion_text][/fullwidth]

Comments on How to piss off your journeyman!

  1. Chris Jenkins says:

    Pick up your tools and get the f__k outa here.
    You’ll never become a journeyman because your no good for f__k all. If my kid was as lazy and as no good as you I would have kick his ass long ago.

    1. Chad says:

      I hope you realize this was written in satire.

  2. Randol says:

    The company I work for actually hires apprentices on these principles it seems. Phone -always in hand. Can’t shut up, always talking some sort of jibberish. I know what I’m doing, leave me alone. I’ve seen only one “apprentice” that owned a hack saw, forget about them knowing how to support a piece of conduit to cut, yet they will not let you show them, “I know how to cut a piece of pipe”. I guess you don’t have any 5 gallon buckets on your job sites, they don’t waste energy leaning against a wall.We don’t even need to discuss breaks and/or lunch, it’s just unreal what these young men(scratch that) boys think they deserve. These people are driving a lot of good electricians crazy,and my “boss” keeps hiring these useless wage takers (not earners) and sending them out to jobs to stand in the way.I realize you meant this as satire, but it is oh so real in my world!

    1. Chad says:

      Sigh. I wish it wasn’t true but you’re not the first one to tell me that.

    2. Michael says:

      Its unreal now a days with those young guys I agree, the only thing they want is use/play with there phone, I work on an oil rig and the first question they ask when we get a new guys and it doesn’t matter what discipline they have, the first question is, what’s the WiFi code.
      They think they can complete a job from behind a computer, and now a day it almost looks like they are born with 2 left hands while being a right-handed person.
      What I do, is make sure they get zapped during a insulation resistance measurement it does the trick, we use different voltage then you guys but 250 or 500V does the trick, them never come back again or they get the message.

  3. randy keelin says:

    Park your scissor lift close to your Buddy’s fully extended for hours passing one hitters back and forth, then act like you don’t hear me or your phone isn’t working when I try to call. THEN…come back to the jobsite with a Samarai sword and threaten to cut me up after I’ve fired you. No kidding. Actually happened.

    1. Joe Bailey says:

      Karma, what a bitch!!!!

  4. Reuben says:

    You are the weakest link, goodbye

  5. Dennis Attard says:

    You all are out of your minds. I’ve been involved with electrical trade for going on 47 years. Believe me when I say I done and seen it all. I have probably done sh@t you’ve never even thought about. The thing is, you’re there to learn, not piss off your journeyman. I also realize your being sarcastic, but the sorry fact is that someone is going to take you seriously. As an example, if I were to tell you that you could leave your hack saw in your tool box and grab a tubing cutter instead while working with 1/2 or 3/4 EMT what would you say? That reaming the fu@king conduit is a bitch and I’m out my frickin mind. Well, I can gaurentee you I can make a perfect cut and do not have to ream the pipe at all. I wouldn’t share how to do that with anyone of you supposedly apprentices. Pay attention and ask questions, you’re not as bright as you think.

  6. LLE Jr says:

    I like to work like the devil, run a few thousand more feet of pipe than my journeyman can in a day, and make a few comments about how I wish the day didn’t go so fast. That usually does the trick, but if I’m in a really good mood, I sell some extra work and write up the ticket, then give him the credit, just because he’s insecure and it really drives him nuts. When all else fails, I like to skip lunch entirely, and use the time to troubleshoot any mistakes in his wiring. This is even better when the owner makes a surprise visit at 12:15, and he’s making his first phone call all day. Finally, I usually ask my girlfriend to bring some beers around 4:30, right when we’re packing up, and I have her wear the shortest skirt she owns. This is sure to start a long conversation about his wife, but I am too busy redlining the drawings, and ordering materials for the next day to fully pay attention. This usually results in tears at some point. Yes, I’m an evil mechanic. But for some reason, he still keeps me around. Lol. Jokes, just jokes…well, mostly. I also sign the checks.

  7. Jr tosh says:

    You are some ignorant cocky mother f*ckers. If an apprentice is not doing his job either fire him or tell him what’s up. No need to shock him or be a prick. The problem with journeymen iv seen, is a good chunk of them think they are the best at everything. All while playing on THEIR phones or doing “paperwork” in their trucks for hours on end. I have also met a few that want their apprentices to succeed and in the end their duo end up knocking out jobs. I do a good job and take criticism and have a lot to learn. I also demand respect as a man… Give respect to get it. You shock me? Well by God I’ll shock your ass back… Grow up you ignorant white trash ass clowns.

    1. Chad says:

      I 100% agree with you JR. There is no place for that kind of crap.

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